INT – THE SLAVE ONE
OBIE WAN and THE BLACK JEDI are tied up on a wall looking nervous. BOBA FETT paces
in front of them, examining their faces.
You must let us go, Boba Fett. The fate of the
galaxy may rest in our hands.
Shut up! One of you killed my father, and you are
not going anywhere until somebody admits it!
This is foolishness! Your father tried to kill the
Liar! You lie! My father was in league with the most
powerful Jedi of all, Count Dooku! Now, one of you
must admit it before I gut you both!
Obie Wan and the Black Guy stare at him in angry silence.
I know that one of you did it. In fact, I even know
which one of you it was. Now just admit it, and we
can all get out of here.
The Jedis still don’t say anything.
(stares at Obie Wan)
Wouldn’t you like to leave? I think you know who it
was. Wouldn’t you like to tell me, and then maybe that
person, whoever it was, might admit it?
Obie Wan spits on the floor in contempt. Boba Fett slaps him in the face.
This is not a game, Jedi! (he turns to the Black Guy)
Don’t you have anything to tell me? I’ll let you go if
you just admit that you were wrong.
Go on. We are putting this all behind us now, Jedi.
Yes, I killed Jango Fett, with my lightsaber.
Boba Fett pulls out a knife and stabs the Black Guy all of the sudden! The Black
Guy looks at him with an expression full of sadness and surprise.
Boba Fett stares at the dying black guy. He wipes his knife against his pants and
slowly turns to face Obie Wan.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.