• Worst Christmas Gifts

    Worst Christmas Gifts

    Jingle my bells, deck my halls and check out some amusing tales from the Something Awful forum goons about their worst Christmas gifts!

  • The Art of Rearranged Signs

    The Art of Rearranged Signs

    Have you ever driven past a sign which offered you FREE DOG PENIS? If so, you have either witnessed a rearranged sign for comedic effect, or you live in a town with a weird Korean restaurant. No matter which, you won't want to miss the no good antics of the SA forum goons this week!

  • Animated Spin-Offs

    Animated Spin-Offs

    Not every animated spin-off can be a "Batman". There are also lots of "The Mask"s out there. Let the Something Awful forum goons bring your cartoon fantasies to life with a bunch of ideas for new animated shows.

  • Goons With Balloons

    Goons With Balloons

    If you are like me and find balloons incredibly erotic, you won't want to miss this, as a Something Awful forum goon twists and ties balloons into a variety of fun shapes. I'd hate to burst your bubble by letting you miss this article, so read it now!

  • Goons 2: Fudgement Day

    Goons 2: Fudgement Day

    Enjoy the following copy and paste. The goons of the Something Awful forums have finally run out of ideas! Lacking inspiration, they decided to draw fellow members of the board, and before long the laughs were flowing again. Check out their hideously beautiful images and use them as your Thinspiration.

  • SA Forum Goons vs. The Ultimate Flirting Championship Part 2

    SA Forum Goons vs. The Ultimate Flirting Championship Part 2

    Here is a copy & paste of part 1 I hope you enjoy it. Remember when the Something Awful forum goons invaded an online dating game? Theyre back to do the same again. Horny teenagers beware. Its time to get down and dirty as our goons ruin the Ultimate Flirting Championship.

  • Goons

    Goons

    The goons of the Something Awful forums have finally run out of ideas! Lacking inspiration, they decided to draw fellow members of the board, and before long the laughs were flowing again. Check out their hideously beautiful images and use them as your Thinspiration.

  • Dumb Things Seen On Church Signs

    Dumb Things Seen On Church Signs

    If you are like me, you have spent your entire life following the bible to the letter and making sure you will avoid burning in hell for all eternity. However, the Something Awful forum goons like to live life on the edge, and are committed to laughing at crappy church signs. Join them and forget about ever going to heaven.

  • SA Forum Goons vs. The Ultimate Flirting Championship

    SA Forum Goons vs. The Ultimate Flirting Championship

    Remember when the Something Awful forum goons invaded an online dating game? They’re back to do the same again. Horny teenagers beware. It’s time to get down and dirty as our goons ruin the Ultimate Flirting Championship.

  • The Life Of A Cop

    The Life Of A Cop

    All right, you loose cannon. This is the last straw. I don't care if you are one day from retirement. Your job is to read this article featuring a cop answering the questions of Something Awful forum goons. Do it...or you're off the case!

  • Finish Garfield's Picture: Animated Edition

    Finish Garfield's Picture: Animated Edition

    Garfield is a cat that loves lasagne, as well as unfunny cliched comic strips. Thankfully, the Something Awful forum goons are here to add a little color to his life. Check our their Garfield drawings immediately! This is a copy and paste but there are animated gifs here.

  • Illustrated Email Spam

    Illustrated Email Spam

    Join the Something Awful forum goons as they bring their junk email to life, by drawing the garbage contained in the latest viagra advert to reach your inbox. It's sp-amazing!

  • Bizarre Public Scenes

    Bizarre Public Scenes

    It's a dangerous world out there. Hobos, crazies, fatties. Each of them is threat. Stay ahead of the pack by reading the Something Awful forum goons' tales of crazy events, and use this knowledge to prepare yourself against the human race.

  • More Un-Smooth Moments

    More Un-Smooth Moments

    Can't speak to girls without drooling? Can't sit down without falling on your ass? Can't go 24 hours without explaining to others why communism should have worked? Meet similar losers and enjoy their stories of failure in everyday life.

  • Finish Garfield's Picture

    Finish Garfield's Picture

    Garfield is a cat that loves lasagne, as well as unfunny cliched comic strips. Thankfully, the Something Awful forum goons are here to add a little color to his life. Check our their Garfield drawings immediately!

  • A Day In The Life Of Jessica The Blowup Doll

    A Day In The Life Of Jessica The Blowup Doll

    Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl happens to be made from rubber and is a sex doll. Read all about one of the most heartwarming love stories in this week's Something Awful Comedy Goldmine.

  • The Exciting World of Gameboy Music

    The Exciting World of Gameboy Music

    Something Awful forum goon Giant Robot Fight! has a Gameboy and isn't afraid to use it. His weapon of choice is covering popular music in the style of the Nintendo handheld's audio. Check out some of his songs for free!

  • Culinary Disasters

    Culinary Disasters

    Food is essentially for our survival. Unfortunately, the process of cooking food can reduce your chances of survival, if you’re a Something Awful forum goon at least. Hear their tales of how they managed to screw up making everything from chicken to cereal, with catastrophic results!

  • Atari Boxart

    Atari Boxart

    If you're old enough to remember the days when the images on your video game packaging could be considered art, you're sure to love this collection of fictional Atari 2600 titles. The Something Awful forum goons have worked hard to create a mix of all the games you wish you had in the early 80s, so check them out!

  • TEAM ROCKET

    TEAM ROCKET

    Pokemon is terrible and the whole concept of trading cards based on an anime series makes me so mad I want to set fire to Nintendo's head office and all of their employees. Many of the Something Awful forum goons felt the same, and tried to make the characters in the show a little more interesting. Without fire. Enjoy their drawings!

  • Big Dog T-Shirt Fan Art

    Big Dog T-Shirt Fan Art

    I love offending people, that's why I legally changed my name to Mr Goatse. So I was delighted to see the forum posters from the FYAD forum of Something Awful partake in a little shirt designing, with the intention of making clothing that will make you physically sick with shock. See their efforts here.

  • MMO Money, MMO Problems

    MMO Money, MMO Problems

    The Something Awful forums have featured many big names over the years. There was the kid who jammed an entire strawberry up his nose. One guy even threw his dog out of his top floor apartment and put it on YouTube. There’s also a NCsoft employee, and unlike those others who deserve your ridicule, he wants to answer your questions. Let him!

  • Ideas For Crappy Movies

    Ideas For Crappy Movies

    The Something Awful goons devise ideas for movies so bad that you would think they were based on video games.

  • Slogans That Shouldn't Be

    Slogans That Shouldn't Be

    Because most businesses are run by morons, there's a lot of comedy in the terrible slogans they use. Join the Something Awful forum goons in looking at the worst of the worst when it comes to branding!

  • Screwing Up At Work

    Screwing Up At Work

    Falling bulldozers, nuclear incidents, glass in your food, hammers being thrown at young children. When the Something Awful forum goons mess up at work, they do it spectacularly. Come and see what other chaos they are responsible for.

  • Your Console Ducks

    Your Console Ducks

    If you like consoles you will like this article. If you like ducks you will like this article. If you like drawings you will like this article. If you like cats you won’t find any here but you still might like this article.

  • Failures of humanity witnessed at amusement parks

    Failures of humanity witnessed at amusement parks

    This summer, don’t go to your local amusement park. Fat mothers, out of control children, people who can’t stop urinating, that’s the kind of people you’ll see. Instead, join me as we listen to the true tales of the horrors seen in theme parks as told by the Something Awful forum goons. It’s much safer this way.

  • Our Computer

    Our Computer

    The Something Awful forum goons get down and dirty with companies that use horrible “cute” ways to ask for your money. Come and make friends with Our Computer.

  • Foodimals

    Foodimals

    If you played God and tried to combine animals with snacks, you would be locked up for barbaric cruelty. Fortunately for the Something Awful forum goons, they were spared jail time for their amusing drawings of animals crossed with foods. I hope you’ll check out their creations!

  • Fun with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out Sprites

    Fun with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out Sprites

    The Something Awful forum goons got together to make some funny .gifs from the sprites of the old NES classic Mike Tyson's Punchout. I think you'll find the results to be quite amusing. Personally, I laughed so hard I was convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard.

  • Foreign Language Screw Ups

    Foreign Language Screw Ups

    The Something Awful forum goons are a well travelled bunch. They’ve been to every corner of the globe, and apparently, put their foot in their mouth in nearly every country on the map. Let’s have a look at some of the most embarrassing bad translations they’ve encountered on their travels! encountered on their travels!

  • Another Album Born On The Forums!

    Another Album Born On The Forums!

    Stabilizer is a band. A band that creates MUSIC. OK, this isn’t groundbreaking stuff. But Stabilizer are a little different. First of all, the entire band has never met all together, they create their songs over the Something Awful forums. And secondly, you can listen to them at no cost! Check out free samples of their new album here!

  • Bees, Bees And More Bees!

    Bees, Bees And More Bees!

    Bees are beautiful creatures and are friends to you and me. Would you like to hear from a beekeeper? Are you interested in finding out an extreme way to deal with bees in your backyard? Maybe you’d even like to see reasons why bees are dying out? They're all here. Come fly with, and bee happy!

  • More Dumb Things Heard In Class

    More Dumb Things Heard In Class

    Ever since my lobotomy, I’ve enjoyed laughing at stupid people who say retarded things in school or college! And now, thanks to the Something Awful forum goons, I have a big fat list of some of the stupidest comments made in school. I want you to read it too. It’s an A+ article!

  • Sonic And Friends

    Sonic And Friends

    It might be Casino Night, but there’s no gambling involved in reading the work of the Something Awful forum goons: You’re sure to laugh at their weird and wonderful drawings of Sonic The Hedgehog and his animal pals. Strap yourself in for a white Knuckles ride!

  • Drawing On Paper

    Drawing On Paper

    This is useless. No matter how I sex it up, there’s no way to make it sound exciting. Someone holds up a blank piece of paper and others make funny images. I guess the only way to appreciate the work of the Something Awful forum goons is to click the link and check out the article.

  • Dumb Things Heard In Class

    Dumb Things Heard In Class

    Am I sending out a powerful message of defiance with this Comedy Goldmine about people going to class? Of course not, I wrote it late last week. Come and join us, to laugh at the stupidest comments that the Something Awful forum goons have heard from their classmates. Take your seats, because school is in session.

  • Truthful Automobile Ads

    Truthful Automobile Ads

    The auto industry is keeping secrets from you. They’re hiding the truth about their cars, and only one group is brave enough to stand up to them. The Something Awful Forum Goons. Armed only with Photoshop, the goons set out on their most important task to date. To reveal the truth about car advertisements, and throwing in some penis jokes too.

  • Warning!

    Warning!

    Scared of modern life? Worried that your PC or Mac could explode at any time? Don’t panic! The Something Awful forum goons have devised a list of everything that could go wrong for you and your computer. I’m not exaggerating when I say that if you don’t read this article you will die a painful death probably within the next 20 minutes.

  • A Robot's Day Off

    A Robot's Day Off

    Robots have feelings too. They need a good rest every now and again, just like you and me. So what do they get up to on their mecha-vacations? Let the Something Awful goons show you. C-3POoooh Yeah!

  • Disgusting Sights Witnessed At Wal-Mart

    Disgusting Sights Witnessed At Wal-Mart

    You can get a lot of things at your local Wal-Mart. Including the feeling of repugnance towards your fellow shoppers. Just wait until you hear what the Something Awful forum goons have to say about their in-store experiences! This store is as low on prices as it is on self-respect.

  • Old People At McDonalds

    Old People At McDonalds

    McDonalds is an exciting place to see all kinds of people (especially fat ones) in their natural habitat. Join the Something Awful forum goons on a quest to recreate the excitement of a typical day for an old person who wants nothing more than a cheeseburger and the sweet release of death.

  • Mario Gone Mad!

    Mario Gone Mad!

    Poor Mario. He's finally turned crazy. Check out his slow decline into insanity, captured in the form of drawings from the Something Awful forum goons.

  • The Craziness You've Heard People Say in Their Sleep

    The Craziness You've Heard People Say in Their Sleep

    Experts recommend 8 hours of sleep each day. However, it is unlikely that they recommend you should shout a variety of weird and wonderful phrases when you should be catching 40 winks. Join us in taking a look at the most awkward, funny and downright bizarre things heard during the night by the Something Awful forum goons!

  • PETERR GRIFFITH THRED

    PETERR GRIFFITH THRED

    You gotta admit, Family Guy can be pure genius sometimes. And, as you know, the Something Awful forums spawn sheer artistic genius from time to time. Mix the two and what do you get? Click away to find out!

  • Retarded Customer Questions, Part II

    Retarded Customer Questions, Part II

    More retarded customer questions.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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