If you're a student, school teacher, snow plow driver or drifter, you'll have plenty of free time during the next few months, so why not pick up some new skills? SA writer David "g0m" Dolan came up with a couple Top 10 lists; follow his advice, and you'll surely make this a summer to remember!
10 ways to be...... ANNOYING!!!1!!!1!!!!1!!!!!one!!
go online and look for a guide for how to do a huge prank - a prank so complex and good that it would be legendary if you pulled it off on your unlucky target. it would be a lot of work to do this prank, but with this trick you dont have to: be close to your victim and read the guide of how to perform the prank aloud, dont stop reading it no matter what. you didn't even have to do the prank to them, but they will actually still be annoyed, because you're talking to them a lot about something they aren't interested in.
preface a sentence by saying "two words:" and then say 3 words
saliva + little wad of paper + blowing it out a straw or hollowed out pen. that's right, spit balls... yea. like in grade school.
find a fat nerd guy with a neckbeard and talk to him about god and jesus and stuff like that. they will get PISSed the FUCK off and go on a militant athiest rant
two words: Wear. A. Fedora.
Lord Waffle Beard
When your item doesn't ring up correctly say " I guess its free" to the cashier
Make the cashier bend down to grab all your items instead of putting them on the ring out area
Argue with the cashier about the prices of items even though they are all ready ringing up a certain way and thats obviously the price
Pay with $100 for a small purchase and use up all the cashiers $20s and $10s and leave his./her till empty
Pay with a check
Add money to an purchase after the cashier has all ready put the amounts in and make them do math in their head to figure out the difference
Give your gabage to the cashier
If youre a hot girl talk about your boyfriend or to your boyfriend in front of the cashier
Say the cashier has a stupid mustache
Loudly say its" hard to find good help these days"
Take snapchats of the cashier
Purposely walk to the other cashiers instead
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.