Here are a couple more contributions from nocturna which look like they want to be your friend while devouring your soul.
This final sock puppet from the appropriately named Wandering Knitter looks so soft that I would make underwear from it if it wasn't for the potential itching problem.
I am so afraid of these terrifying creatures that I simply have to end things here, but take a look at Plethora's online store to perhaps purchase one of these monsters. But if you get scammed, tell me so I can delete this link and deny all knowledge. Thanks as always to the loyal batch of forum goons for their help this week. Anyone who has ever seen one of these guys last a 36 hour World of Warcraft session with no trips to the bathroom will know how creative the goons can get with their socks. Next week will see a brand new Comedy Goldmine giving you more tips on how to live your life with confidence and style, so please remember to check back here next Tuesday.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.