Don't give me a key to one of these things and then tell me how to use it. You know what's going to happen. My biggest regret is having a sudden bout of conscience and giving the damn key back. WHY!? Why did I do that!?
This one was dry-erase, so we couldn't rearrange letters, we could only remove them:
Outdoor Minigolf = Outdoor Milf!
Our sign at work is routinely vandalized to hilarious effect with things like "Come check out our new hummer whores!" and the salon next door was advertising "Rape Facials 20% off" last month. Here's one I snapped with the cellphone camera before changing it back one fine afternoon.
There's no other way to say it than to simply come out and state that this article is OVER. Thanks to all the forum goons who took part in this little project, and you'll all be delighted to know that I've passed your names and details over to your local police force. If you're not in prison on Christmas day, I'll be back next Tuesday with a special festive edition of the Comedy Goldmine to enjoy after your turkey. Gather your family around the PC (yes, even grandma!), pour everyone a glass of eggnog and enjoy my gift to you, an article entitled Draw Rudolph's Penis. Don't miss it!
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sworn to personally investigate the murder of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. In fact, Putin plans to use his expertise to solve most major crimes.
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.