The man shakes his head and walks away from you, tears still in his eyes.
"I'm tired of your games... Go back to whatever hell you crawled out of and take your curse with you."
He spits in your direction.
"We had to kill those seals for food! We didn't know they were yours..." he clenches his fist.
"We've... I've... done everything you asked. Now show mercy and kill me, or leave me alone."
> tap man on shoulder while he is looking away, when he turns to face you, kick him in the stomach and proceed with the fucking stone cold stunner
You catch the man while he's distracted and deliver your signature finishing move.
You appear to have knocked the man unconscious.
You lose the can of beans from your inventory.
> COLLECT BEANS
You manage to scrape some of the BEANS off of your coat and the floor and collect them in your pocket. What a mess.
> pray for guidance to Melek Taus, the peacock deity of the Yazidi People.
You drop to your knees and pray for salvation. For whatever reason, you choose to pray to a very specific and ancient deity that really has no influence on your people or the nearby area.
Regardless, the room flashes with blinding light. You are bombarded by rays of color from all parts of the visible spectrum.
A being appears of bright feathers and large plumage.
It looks at you, extremely confused.
It shrugs and lays a rainbow colored EGG and then vanishes as quickly as it appeared. You add the EGG to your inventory.
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.