Inspired by the previous microwave recipes, bunnybraat attempted "5 Minute Microwave Lasagna". This is her story.

I figured that since Lasagna is really just noodles, sauce, meat, and cheese people wouldn't eat if it weren't mixed in with other crap I could find the ingredients in my kitchen. I didn't have ricotta cheese or any other disgusting crumbs of spoiled milk so I improvised with store brand cheese whiz.


My first layer was noodles and sauce, followed by a layer of delicious Cheez, then more noodles, chicken and sauce.


Pepperoni and "Italian Seasoning", and it's ready to cook!


Voila!


I figured I should at least TASTE the stuff. Only half the noodles were "cooked" so after digging a while I managed to get a forkful in my mouth and couldn't find a place to spit fast enough. Even the cat wouldn't touch the stuff.


Our final masterchef by the name of Tony Bologna decided to bring a taste of sunny Mexico to his uncultured microwave.

As it stands, it's one of the simplest and quickest microwave recipes, and boasts one of the most flavorful experiences in regards to other stuff you've tried to cook with microwaves.

Huevos Rancheros

Ingredients:

2 Huevos
1 Rancheros

Instructions:

Place eggs in a cup, put salsa on it.


Put in microwave for 3 minutes on maximum power (1000watt)


Scoop contents back into the mug enjoy!

I haven't seen anything this disgusting since my friend showed me the footage of two girls playing around with chocolate ice cream. I want to thank the forum goons for killing my appetite forever, ensuring that I will become thin and attractive to the opposite sex. If you would like to see more gross pictures, I strongly advise you to check out next week's Comedy Goldmine. It will be disgusting yet endearing like a baby rabbit smashed by a hammer.

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.