Welcome to this week's edition of the Something Awful Goldmine. How've you been? We're swell, thanks for asking! This week, our topic is on fast action BREAKING NEWS! There's a lot of stuff breaking in the world, and often times, BREAKING NEWS! reports are there to pick up on them, and relay the news to you and others like you. Our elite team of goons in the Awful Forums went about creating a blissful amalgamation of images for you to peruse. These reports are all fake, but they may one day be true! So it's best to look at them several times and take heed of the warnings they lay forth. Now, enough incoherent rambling, on with the incoherent show!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.