cereal that cries milk when you yell at it
bacteria that are frog sized and I can keep one in a terrarium
me: oh this, just a common streptococcus ratti. i keep it in here because it can coexist peacefully with my African water frogs. I'm saving up for a protozoa, they're way more interesting but I need a bigger tank and a filter first
trees that grow upside down and into the earth, so you can live inside the tree in the earth like a little natural bomb shelter, and use the roots growing up into the sky to hang up laundry
a dog that flies back like a boomerang when you throw it
mice made out of red and green glitter so you can use owl pellets as Christmas ornaments
bread with extra gluten that you can smugly eat in front of your annoying friend Connor
raccoon that puts fallen trash cans back upright and tidies up any escaped debris
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
Hungry? Try looking around for a little something called ASTRONAUT FOOD. Or you can hold out until you get to Pluto and look for some berries... if you want to starve to death!
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.