Mayor Wilkins here with another action-packed Goldmine. When you were younger, you loved those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Yeah, I know you did. I did, too.
Anyway, out of all those Choose Your Own Adventure books that were made, you know that some of them just didn't make the final cut. Forum member Jer decided to dig deep into the collective fetid imaginations of the forum goons this week to find out just what, in their minds, should have made it to the bookshelves. And from old women flashing people at Mardi Gras to conducting highly famous theoretical experiments, the goons came up with some...well. Something.
Enjoy this week's Comedy Goldmine - "Choose Your Own Adventure" Books That Never Quite Made It!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.