When I told my niece what a swordfish is, she asked me if there are also sword-bunnies.
My brother-in-law was about 3 when my wife and I first started dating (she was 21 when he was born). One of my favorite things ever was when he just said out of the blue "Birdfeeders are like a McDonald's for birds."
the party god
Pilot to Gunner
Met a 4-year-old in the park today and she repeatedly told me she was from Manhattan in New York. So I asked her to tell me some things about the city.
In Manhattan, everyone is happy because they have two cars.
Except for the Hot Dog Man, he has one bicycle.
Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.