Pussy Lovin', inspired by Josie and the Pussycats, written by schwenzThe tiger striped fur body suit lay crumpled on the floor. Back arched, legs tense, Melody stared glassy eyed at the ceiling. The tiny motel room was silent except for the sharp rhythm of her breath. She was close, very close, and she gently rolled the plastic tip of her drumstick over her swollen clit, and let it slide slowly into her. Melody bit down hard on her lower lip, she pinched one of her nipples with her free hand. It was going to be a fucking time-bomb.But there was the sound of clanging metal, and the sucking of breath. There at the doorway to the bedroom stood Valerie. She was still wearing the fur suit. At her feet lay the two tambourines that seemingly never left her hands."Melody!" she gasped"Shit." said Melody, pulling the cover over her exposed treasure. "I...I..." her face turned a brilliant shade of crimson.The expression on Valerie's face went from sudden shock to a mischievous grin."You've got your drumsticks all wet" She purred.Melody just stared. She was unsure as to where this was going."You can't play with them like that" Said Valerie, her voice quivering a bit "Would you like me to clean them off for you?"Melody was still stunned. She brushed some of her damp hair back and tucked it behind the clasp of her ears."Um...well...ok?"Valerie sunk down to her hands and knees with the grace of, well, of a pussycat. Slowly she crawled over to the foot of the bed. She pulled herself up Melody's legs, running her dark fingers over the terrified girls alabaster thighs. The drumstick was still clutched in Melody's lap. Valerie, moving almost in slow motion, turned the drumstick upward until it pointed straight out of Melody's crotch. She could feel the heat coming from there, and when Valerie caught a hint of the smell...she began to purr.Melody's body began to relax, she watched transfixed as Valerie ran her tongue up and down the shaft of her drumstick. The sheet slid down to the floor. Melody closed her eyes. With the back of the stick she began to rub her throbbing clit, as Valerie engulfed the tip, drawing almost half of it into her throat. Within seconds the lightning bolts were coursing through her veins. She threw back her head and let out a deafening squeal. Her pussy gushed, spilling warm fluid all over her thighs. Valerie spread Melody's legs a little further and lapped up the juices. Melody's whole body shook.Smiling Valerie worked her tongue up Melody's white stomach. She lingered on her hard pink nipples, flicking them and twirling circles around them. Then she brought her mouth against Melody's hard. Melody could taste herself, the tangy taste of her own pussy on Valerie's Tongue.When Valerie pulled away Melody stared deep into her chocolate eyes. She saw her friend then in a way that she had never seen her before. Her heart swooned."My turn." Said Valerie. The tiger suit dropped to the floor."You deserve something special after that." exclaimed Melody."Ooooh Goodie!" giggled Valerie, "am I getting kitty treat!?""Yes, you deserve an extra treat, you've been a very good pussycat!" cooed Melody. As Valerie laid herself down on the bed Melody opened the drawer on the nightstand, she pulled out the giant dildo and began to belt it on."OOOOOH! GOODIE GOODIE!" Screamed Valerie.Melody smiled and turned to the door."JOOOOSIEE!" she yelled "JOOOSIE COME HERE A MINUTE!"That's all the time we have this week. Next week, we'll be posting more of this stuff. So if you're a sick fuck and you get off on this kinda thing, lucky you! If you're the kind of person that was disappointed that we had no pretty pictures to look at, so sorry Charlie.
A broadcasting legend pleads with the world of the living.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.