Luvcow

*basketball bounces in slow motion off of great white sharks nose and miraculously bounces into the hoop just as time expires, scoreboard shows that Amity Island wins the game by 1 point*

Becky: "omg Jaws 5 we did it! we won the big game!"

*visiting teams coach slams his clipboard down on the ground in disgust as the enormous shark begins flapping around on the floor snapping its mouth shut on various visiting players, blood begins spraying from their injuries and coating the floor*

Travis: "Becky we did it!"

*spray of blood almost makes Travis slip and fall as he runs to his big sister Becky to give her a hug, behind him Jaws slides easily across the gym floor and consumes yet another person, credits begin to roll as the camera pans out, Chumbawumba's Tubthumper begins to play as the screen fades to black*

google THIS

the detective has followed the killer's trail deep into the woods. his heart pounds, and he jumps at the slightest noise. finally he comes upon a clearing lit by a huge bonfire, and there he sees his long-lost daughter, together with all of the townspeople...and ashton kutcher.

"you got punk'd!" he shouts, and everyone laughs. the detective stands with his hands on his hips, shaking his head and wearing a sportsmanlike "you got me good" smirk. then everyone starts jamming to the closing credits song, which is, of course, "wannabe" by the spice girls

FactsAreUseless

The guy who writes the post-credits scenes in superhero movies where characters look at a comics thing and say "what is it" or "oh my god" or "this just got real."

FactsAreUseless

Jim Carrey shows up at the end of Justice League Part 2 and everyone wonders if he's supposed to be the Riddler from Batman Forever or if it's just Jim Carrey playing himself or what the deal is, and all the characters are making a huge fucking thing out of it, like they keep talking loudly about how happy they are that he's here, but again they aren't saying who exactly he's supposed to be.

FactsAreUseless

It is nine trillion years in the future. God looks out over the remains of his creation, cold and dead. Entropy claims everything.

Samuel L. Jackson: Welcome back, She-Hulk.

Music Theory

Samuel L. Jackson: Welcome back, Godot.

Ahundredbux

at the end of the movie iron man shoots one of three different colored beams based on local reviews

misty mountaintop

MUSSOLINI throws his hat on the ground and stomps on it.

JOHN HENRY: We did it, Autistic Boy! We made the trains run even more on time and saved the orphanage!

AUTISTIC BOY: I only care about the trains.

JOHN HENRY: Oh Autistic Boy! Don't ever change!

AUTISTIC BOY: I won't.

JOHN HENRY and THE ORPHANS laugh. In the background, even MUSSOLINI sees the humor in the situation and begins laughing as well. AUTISTIC BOY does not laugh. He is looking up train engines on his iPhone. Freeze Frame.

THE END

I Was The Fury

Rose: I'll never let you go, Jack.
Jack: Thank you.
the Titanic 2, which was launched 2 hours after the original titanic pulls up alongside them
T2 captain: hey you two, need a lift?
Jack and Rose: you bet, mister!
Jack and Rose board the ship and enter the ballroom, where every character is singing and dancing for the final musical number: Tubthumping, as performed by Chumbawumba. The Heart of the Ocean necklace magically lifts in front of a spotlight and begins spinning, bathing the area in a "disco ball" effect
END SCENE

alnilam

The End... Or Is It?

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.