I'm running out of SPACE for all my THINGS #firstworldproblems
The Xhosa Nostra
burst from my fathers head fully grown and armed with sword and shield #firstworldproblems
no one likes heavy metal about wizards anymore #firstworldproblems
my pyramid head tattoo is fading #firstworldproblems
someone out there is dying for a sip of the water from the gallon im using to shoot my turd out of the building #firstworldplumbing
ahhh fuck I accidentally KO'd Mewtwo now I gotta start all over #firstworldproblems
If you've ever cleared the lint screen you probably touched someone else's pubic hair in the process #firstworldproblems
ugh my top tier university got generic lucky charms today #harvardproblems
some days i think i will never meet a curvey goonette to settle down with and spend the rest of our days watching naruto and smoking weed while collecting guns #fwp
I'm lying in bed and the pillow gets hot and I have to flip the pillow over to the cold side. #firstworldproblems
Sparky's gone nuts violating the first law of Robotics! #firstworldproblems
The recycling machine won't accept this one glass bottle. #firstworldproblems
i got drunk as hell and fucked a fat chick #fwp
Why do I have to pass that homeless veteran everytime I go get a latte, its so awkward. #firstworldproblems
Under these trying economic conditions I just can't get the synergies right to integrate our marketing strategies with the new Business 2.0 priorities laid out by our agile focus group! #fwp
Why is Charles from accounts waving a shotgun around the office, frothing at the mouth and shouting about the antichrist! Why is mary bleeding. Oh god! #fwp
With this shotgun I am become the lords vengance. With the words of the prophet ringing down the ages thus do I bring these judgements. #fwp
i kayokened vegeta and sprained my wrist and now when i crack it little kayokens come shooting out of my fingernails during dinner. i broke the turtle #gokuworldproblems
plane hit the building now I'm plunging to my death! #firstworldproblems
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.