I wish for ten million dollars*
*Ten million dollars, henceforth known as MONETARY WISH-AWARD to be paid in discreet monthly sums, where "discreet" is defined as "substantive yet within the bounds of common sense and law, as it pertains to [CURRENT MUNICIPALITY]." Monetary wish-award is to be accompanied by verifiable documentation, for tax purposes. Source of monetary wish-award may not be from one of the following sources - fraud or any illegal activity, human catastrophe, loss of significant personal acquaintance or family, international incident, collapse of society, critical injury to any parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, death of any of the parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, or any other negative happenstances. Recipient of wish-award is additionally exempt from statistical tendencies towards suicide or self-harm demonstrated by other recipients of large cash awards.
The undersigned genie acknowledges the above terms and recognizes that any violation of the above terms will result in refunding the wish with no expectation of compensation.
I wish everyone's horoscopes would come true in the most comical way possible, given there's a ton of them for every sign in every publication in print an online
Smash it Smash hit
I wish the ability to re-roll outcomes.
Hot Dog Day #91
I wish I were able to feel emotion.
Smash it Smash hit
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
"God of War is the realization of our collective hopes and dreams, not just as gamers, but as gamer-citizens."
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.