I wish for ten million dollars*
*Ten million dollars, henceforth known as MONETARY WISH-AWARD to be paid in discreet monthly sums, where "discreet" is defined as "substantive yet within the bounds of common sense and law, as it pertains to [CURRENT MUNICIPALITY]." Monetary wish-award is to be accompanied by verifiable documentation, for tax purposes. Source of monetary wish-award may not be from one of the following sources - fraud or any illegal activity, human catastrophe, loss of significant personal acquaintance or family, international incident, collapse of society, critical injury to any parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, death of any of the parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, or any other negative happenstances. Recipient of wish-award is additionally exempt from statistical tendencies towards suicide or self-harm demonstrated by other recipients of large cash awards.
The undersigned genie acknowledges the above terms and recognizes that any violation of the above terms will result in refunding the wish with no expectation of compensation.
I wish everyone's horoscopes would come true in the most comical way possible, given there's a ton of them for every sign in every publication in print an online
Smash it Smash hit
I wish the ability to re-roll outcomes.
Hot Dog Day #91
I wish I were able to feel emotion.
Smash it Smash hit
Dissatisfied Star Wars fans have taken the women out of the Last Jedi with a new fan edit. They won't stop there.
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.