I, personally, am the good kind of sex guy. I know that's not funny to say - not everything on here has to be funny or a joke. Sometimes it can just be good information about the good kind of sex guy; who is me. [Thanks to the Something Awful Forums for the posts, and for teaching me what love is]
sex is like an art. there's a good way to do it, and a bad way to do it, and I do it the good way, not the bad way
I'm the bad kind of sex guy. I'm the kind of sex guy your daughters warned you about. I wear a long moustache and a sport coat. I'm the bad kind of sex guy.
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
I am the bad sex guy. I am bad at sex. women do not enjoy sex with me, but sometimes do because everyone makes mistakes.
bad sex guy:good sex guy :: the pallid rays of the moon:the smoky warmth of the sun
The good sex guy, Spenta Mainyu, battles endlessly in opposition to the bad sex guy, Angra Mainyu. Humanity, of course, is bent over in the middle and getting it at both ends.
Bad sex guy has sex like this. Good sex guy? Has sex the other way. *audience cracking up because they all get it immediately*
I am the good sex guy. I sit in the lotus position, meditating on the good sex. I appear to be levitating, but actually I am...oh ho ho, you probably thought I was going to say that I was balancing on my large member, but no, the good sex guy is beyond such frivolously crude humor. No, I actually am hovering off the ground, because I am such a good sex guy, and because my penis is so large its gravitational field can hold me aloft.
Good sex guy: tantric meditation
Bad sex guy: tantric-or-treat
I am not a good sex guy, I am a great sex guy. I have long surpassed simple binary, trinary, or even human-spectrum gender roles. I'm on a whole new level, the fungus level. did you know they have 36,000 sexes? the fungus kama sutra is mind-bogglingly big and I am mastering it. I am crushing it. I am not sure I have time to sex you, but come by in case I can fit you in, and please bring some perky young chanterelles.
When the bad sex guy has sex, a wolf howls and an eagle feels desolate. When the good sex guy has sex, a cactus blooms in the desert. A sand vermine scurries from its hole and lets the sand wash over its coat, cleaning it of grit - when the good sex guy has sex.
(filling out medical questionnaire)
Please select Good or Bad for the following:
Sex Guy: ______
Drug Use: ______
A household where they have a shrine to the good sex guy and the bad sex guy, and they sacrifice crows for the bad sex guy, and bake biscuits and heavy doughy treats for the one who's good at sex.
Little dishes in front of the good sex guy and the bad sex guy shrines. They go, "mmh," when you weigh them down with an offering, except bad sex man has a sound to him that is more like, "hmmph!". His sport coat is rendered in ivory.
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.