no they will not

I like to accidentally get sucked into a jet engine and be killed from it.

Polymerized Cum

i want to sneak into an active runway and dive into the rotating fan blades of a taxiing jumbo jet, owning thousands of travelers with delays associated with removing my slurry from the tarmac

Polymerized Cum

i am going to fly a stolen cessna into a fireworks factory so that unlike my life, my death will be exciting and spectactular

no they will not

I like to get run over by trains and die from being injected with AIDS.

Polymerized Cum

aids sounds good because you can brutally own your loved ones with years of crying and holding your body covered in sores and lesions

WikiKathy

you can also poz them by fucking them. you can fuck your family witn your aids dick. hey kids we're home early

HOT SQUATS

*im dying in a hospital bed* hahaha *coughs up blood* ugh my chest really hurts *my family is standing around crying* ahahahhaha what dumbasses. they look all sad and shit. this rules.

Polymerized Cum

s1ckly dW33b

I love getting shredded up by robots and dragon breathed by dragons.

Dr. Spiderman

run me through with a lance via horseback or motorcycle

anne frank fanfic

I die extremely well from exposure to cold, wind, and moisture.

clammy

being buried alive beneath tons of used, bacteria-infested balls from an alabama freeway mcdonalds play palace while hundreds of fat hick children laugh and laugh is absolutely rancid with win

dendy crew

i end my life by finding one particular youtube comment that sets me off and i plan a long distance trek across america to that persons house so i can meet them face to face and then scream as i cut myself from ear to ear

no they will not

I know there's been a lot of ironic joking and kidding around in this thread, but one thing's for sure: It's definitely good to go off a cliff in a tiny car from the 60s and crash into some jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

– FYAD (@g0m)

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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