It's almost time for critics to start compiling their Best-Movies-of-the-Year lists, and Dave Grohl's Sound City should be a solid contender. It boasts a perfect Rotten Tomatoes rating, including critic Erick Weber's somewhat unsettling claim that it "acts as a defibrillator for your creative juices." Apparently it had this cool effect on WET BUTT, who wrote about scenes that might have somehow made Sound City even better, had Grohl thought to include them in the final cut, or film them at all!
Ghost of cobain: Dave. its me from nirvana
Dave: (waking up from mixing board) huh?? Kurt!!!
Ghost: Thats right dave, im up there in heaven now, and you know I'm jamming with jimi, Jimmy smith from jazz, I make jazz now in heaven
Dave: Thats stupid. there aren't even words and you cant tell if the songs are about anger
Ghost: Youre stupid dumbass
Dave: I'm tired of your crap. Fucker. U killed yourself as sabotage against the foo fighters, and now I'm
gonna send you to hell where u belong
(Dave readies signature Tae Kwon Grohl stance)
'Sound City' star Rick Springfield poses with scary fans on a cruise (SA Goldmine 9/21/10).
[EXTERIOR, FOREST: NIGHT TIME]
Dave grohl is wandering around the forest looking for a cool raccoon he saw digging through the garbage behind the studio. Dave got frustrated and beat the hell out of some campers and theyre all on the ground hurt/unconscious.
Dave spends next 6 mins of the film in complete silence wandering around the forest making meaningful glances at the moon or the water, saying stuff like, "damn..this was all here first" and "this is where music really began." Dave sees a bird singing and smiles, as if he is thinking, "that bird is the real foo fighters"
Old wise black man: Nah Dave, that's not quite it son. U gotta let the kick drum dance with the bass line..them two are young lovers, in each others arms
Dave grohl: I can't do it Wallace. im never gonna do it. i suck! Dave sucks!! *throws the mixing board over* *tips over Glacier Smart Water bottle which the cam zooms in on and holds for 1 entire min*
Shitty electronic guy: (singing) Yeah, yeah, we are all fun tonight. check it out big time
Engineer: quit it, stop. cut
Electro guy 2: What's wrong Stuart that sounded good
Engineer: it just doesn't sound right..there's something missing here
(thought bubble pops up above stuart's head showing shadowed figure, wearing signature Grohltee of light, frowning)
(stuart scratches his chin at the thought bubble, whose grohltee hairs begin too rattle w/ the scratching, signifying the unity of all living things)
'grohl has the most severe case of Butthead Mouth ever documented' - manyak
Stuart: (driving getaway truck from fire) Hot damn dave, U just saved the studio
Dave: (looking out back of truck) Not just yet, little buddy. (Cam focuses on guitar center) As we speak, kids in that place are being ruined by rap music machines & auto tune. theyll probably never hear the best of you on the best of you: the best of the foo fighters at best buy. Drive this back home. Ive got business.
(dave kicks open back doors of truck and dives out onto the highway, rolling past oncoming cars which crash into each other, then Dave rolls off the highway and base jumps off the railing towards guitar center parking lot, deploying parachute)
(The best of U by the foo fighters begins to play while Dave air guitars in the air in his movie and sings along to his own song)
Dave: This kicks ass
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
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