As an alien twelve times as advanced as a mere human, inform her that you are twelve cops.
The human refuses to "do business" with "cops".
The green creture has insulted you, retaliate by trying to operate the black object on her since your club is inferior.
The human seems frightened now.
Take the woman's purse. You can start a collection!
Purse taken and stored in briefcase. Human has fled.
Begin to move ahead towards Microsoft!
That did not take long.
Microsoft has beautiful decorative water dispensers.
Demand Microsoft give you access to the "internet". Use club on Microsoft if necessary.
Microsoft is unresponsive.
Enter Microsoft through one of the large portals. Use your weapon to open the portal if necessary.
Exited portal. This appears to be just like the exterior of the building.
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.