EPS posted:
You were going too slow. You must spin the portal very quickly to activate it!
Green liquid ejecting from oral cavity.
ZeroX4 posted:
Quick! Drink the green fluids! You cannot lose any.
Green liquid consumed.
ZeroX4 posted:
Use the black object to try and break a window to enter the building.
I have projected the brief case through another portal. I am going inside.
I have entered Microsoft. Awaiting orders.
Simon Draskovic posted:
Offer the foliage to the female at 'reception'. This will ingratiate her to you, and you will gain her as an unwitting ally in the war against the humans.
The human is instructing me to replace the foliage.
This Week on Something Awful...
Men's Hats Ranked From Most to Least Tainted
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
All the So-Called 'Blatant Eroticism' in My Stories Has a Valid, In-Universe Justification
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Mission Air
Even the Armor of God won’t save you from flying missionaries, terrible banditos, or Tom Arnold!
Pop-Up Ads Throughout History!
SA takes a look back at what our ancestors from the dawn of civilization clicked on THEIR computers!
Sunless Sea
My time as a captain in Sunless Sea, plus a review of Homeworld Remastered Collection
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Previous Articles
- Help me get to work, Part 1
- Kids say the Devastatingest Things
- Truth In Movie Titles
- MSPaint your pet peeves about college
- MSpaint your illogical childhood notions
