EPS posted:
You were going too slow. You must spin the portal very quickly to activate it!
Green liquid ejecting from oral cavity.
ZeroX4 posted:
Quick! Drink the green fluids! You cannot lose any.
Green liquid consumed.
ZeroX4 posted:
Use the black object to try and break a window to enter the building.
I have projected the brief case through another portal. I am going inside.
I have entered Microsoft. Awaiting orders.
Simon Draskovic posted:
Offer the foliage to the female at 'reception'. This will ingratiate her to you, and you will gain her as an unwitting ally in the war against the humans.
The human is instructing me to replace the foliage.
This Week on Something Awful...
Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
SkyMall Product Reviews: Peacock Goddess Sculpture
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
Pet Disasters!
Pictures of cute animals are taking the Internet by storm! (It's a very destructive storm.)
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Super Bowl Ready TV Sports Graphics!
*Galaxies and stars explode, revealing the Sports Center logo as the center of the new universe.*
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
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