Uncle Enzo

My Child Kind Of Wanders Around During The Day And That's Better Than A Formal Education
For centuries, young people would apprentice under a master to learn a craft- they didn't need schools. Granted, Jaycub doesn't follow a professional anything (except Mother)...




Clayren

Lake Wannahamma: The first straight conversion camp in America, is now accepting applicants
The pain I felt when my child came out as normative-sexual was immense, but at the time I falsely believed there was nothing I could do.

Clayren

My stillborn black lump of flesh is as much a child as anyone else
The first time I had to sue a local school to include a picture of xir in the yearbook was 2008, but I found myself having the same legal battle in 2009, 2010...

Uncle Enzo

Mandatory Vaccines Are Tantamount To Rape
Think about it: having a small shot to render you immune from diseases is the same thing as being sexually assaulted. And I should know: I am a Vaccine Survivor...



Command Ant

Why I've Completely Given Up On My Appearance, And Why Everyone Should Praise Me Nonstop For It
I look like a mound of raw dough someone rolled through a pile of dirty laundry and stuck a pair of goofy glasses onto, but...

Stottie Kyek

How I Lost 30 Pounds Without Giving In To My Doctors Telling Me To Exercise and Eat Vegetables
When my leg got gangrenous from my (totally unrelated) diabetes and had to be amputated, I knew it was my body telling me it was its natural size...

doctor 7

How The Food I Eat Has No Bearing on My Weight Whatsoever
And how other scientific facts do not apply to me and possibly you.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful