> Turn on the radio, say "I found the plane, it's--AUGH HE'S KILLING ME AAAUUGGGGGH" and then hang up
> Shoot flares into the air non stop and drink more sea water. When approached, say "It is an emergency because I am getting sick off of sea water I am drinking. Please help me." and drink more sea water.
> fill vomit-and-blood-stained boat with gasoline, hide in other boat. when security arrives, toss flare into other boat and collect loot.
> offer the remaining security guard a glass of sea water
> Grab the machine gun, become Rambo
> Use this surprise to jump over to the other boat and swing the machine gun around to take out the remaining guy. Tearfully ask why they couldn't just accept you being gay and loving seawater.
>Pick up radio
>>"Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"
> PUT ALL THREE OUTBOARD ENGINES ON THE GUNBOAT
> Turn on the radio, say "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho", then hang up.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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