How about your interpretation of the hands that try to touch me while I have sleep paralysis...
I opened the front door and hesitated walking in because it was so dark in the house. I stepped in and slowly walked up the carpeted steps up to the living room. I could hear my feet squishing the carpet like it was soaking wet, and the banister itself was slippery. I made it to the top of the stairs and looked for a lightswitch. I heard a loud scream from the back bedrooms. I walked slowly towards where I thought was the hallway to the back of the house and stopped because I thought I could hear rasping breathing. Suddenly the hallway light flicked on for a split second then off and then back on and then back off. It was a slow motion strobe light, and each time I could see the floor, the walls and the ceiling was covered in blood. At the end of the hall was the fattest clown I have ever seen in my life. In his right hand was a long knife and in his left was my little sister's head. She was still screaming.
I was trapped in a town full of giant zombie rabbits. The only way I was able to get out was putting on an Easter Bunny suit...
there is this terrible clown doll. Instead of arms and legs, it has very long stick-like appendages where all four reach the floor making the creature about 6-feet-tall. On the end of each limb is a squeaky shopping-cart wheel [kind of like the Wheelers in Return to Oz]. It wheels around and terrifies people...
Just a black nighttime backyard, simple tree, some shrubs in the distance, and a single pane of light cast across the grass. Just outside the square of light, a vague man-shape stands smoking a cigarette and looking up with softly glowing white eyes...
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.