Mulli

No, that's not a gun in my pocket and yes, I am happy to see you

google THIS

and can you please stop shaking your hands like a spaz while you count the bills out? kind of defeats the purpose don't you think?

Heartbroken 2Twice

look, it's written clearly, right here on the withdrawal slip: i'm withdrawing 'all your fucking money'. just a regular, plain ol' withdrawal. don't see what all the fuss is about

DraconicImpulse

Look, when we yelled "everybody get down" we wanted to start a dance party. Don't you like the song that's playing?

Android Blues

i'm opposed to dye packs because they're made using animal products. look it up. yeah that's right motherfucker, i care about the environment. do you?

google THIS

listen, i know small talk is important for building customer rapport, but i'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment, like right now i really could care less that you have a wife and kids

Heartbroken 2Twice

my four buddies and i just want to make a perfectly normal withdrawal before we go on a perfectly normal skiing trip while exercising our 2nd amendment rights. is that so wrong

google THIS

no everybody, seriously, this is a cup that i made out of sticks. it was hard to waterproof, let me tell you

Mulli

I'm sorry, I was just cosplaying Heat(1995), one of my all-time favorite movies directed by the auteur Michael Mann. Did you know that in the classic diner scene where DeNiro and Pacino are on-screen for the first and only time in film histroy, they actually shoot their scenes seperately? I know, cause I'm a big fan and know the movie by heart. Anyway

TWIST FIST

ok so you say this is a robbery and i say it isnt. well theres only one way to settle this for sure. *takes a sack of money and starts pulling bills out one at a time* this is a robbery. this isnt a robbery. this is a robbery. this isnt a robbery.....

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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