She dove under the table and eye-balled the door. She could hear Red screaming and shit being thrown all over. He had emptied her purse onto the table and was heaving that stuff everywhere too.
Kathy knew that this was trouble and decided to make a run for the door. She had to run across the kitchen, open the kitchen door, run down the hallway (past the candy machine) and make it to the outside door. What choice did she have? She went for it.
She jumped up and made it to the kitchen door, opened it and took off running. She turned and saw Red tearing out after. He was screaming like his ass was on fire and he was carrying a knife in one hand and her purse in the other. He was screaming. She was screaming.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.