She dove under the table and eye-balled the door. She could hear Red screaming and shit being thrown all over. He had emptied her purse onto the table and was heaving that stuff everywhere too.
Kathy knew that this was trouble and decided to make a run for the door. She had to run across the kitchen, open the kitchen door, run down the hallway (past the candy machine) and make it to the outside door. What choice did she have? She went for it.
She jumped up and made it to the kitchen door, opened it and took off running. She turned and saw Red tearing out after. He was screaming like his ass was on fire and he was carrying a knife in one hand and her purse in the other. He was screaming. She was screaming.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.