Donjolly

an illegal immigrant picked up outside of home depot. he thinks its a roofing job ... nope, wrestle mania


little fluffy muffy

A masked wrestler, his technique is incredible. He is rising through the ranks? Who is this mystery man. Legends return to do battle with this unconventional upstart. He says he is coming for Stone Cold. The title match: Stone Cold has come out of retirement and is hooked up to a technological wrestling machine to be stronger than ever. But it's not enough, like Maijin Vegeta, though powerful, he does not fight with his heart. The masked wrestler reveals himself. It's Stone Cold's long lost son: Ice Cold James Austin and he's battling to win his fathers respect any way he can.

moonshine

some broad who cant run the ropes and botches every move and shakes her ass for the camera but yep turns out shes just doing it to pay her way through wrestling school, and dont we all just feel like a bunch of judgemental assholes right about now

sausage paddy

takeru kobayashi, world class competitive eater who doesnt understand the rules of wrestling. he runs into the stands to tackle a hot dog vendor and eat all his dogs before the ref finishes the ten count

little fluffy muffy

Exbasketball Player Michael Jordan and all the wrestlers give him a hard time until he proves himself

moonshine

really tall viking with a lisp accompanied to the ring by crotchety old racist pensioner

Karate Avenue

Incredulous DiGiorno Pizza Commercial Customer

I.N.R.I.

a regular guy, with regular muscles , but he can do all the same wrestling moves as the roid guys ... where are you drawing all of this power from ?!

Some Other Guy

a reformed criminal, wrestles with his past as well

Haoma

Barack Obama who revived US automobile manufacturing

Man who comes to every match straight from dumpster diving

Stock Photo Asian

Man who keeps insisting he has never heard of Gangnam Style, but we all know he has.

Customer Service Needer

There has never been a fan of the UK version of The Office quite like him.

The whole of all deaths caused by playing Farmville on a Smartphone while driving, manifest

dat really squirrelly nigga who always at erry corna shop

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.