Christian Bale is a yo-yo dieter.
Everybody loves sequels, right?
Yeah, desolate that Smaug. Or something.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
We got Josh Brolin in a box for all your Oldboy needs.
These games are making me hungry!
Yeah, this is just how I live now, you know?
He's back... again.
The taglines claim that it isn't a game, but the title begs to differ.
Old men get their human rights violated for your entertainment.
Tom Hanks finds himself in a compromising position one more time.
Sandra Bullock falls into the void.
Insert poker analogy here.
Dads in search of daughters. Where are their daughters? They want them back.
Oh no, it's a baby in a horror movie. Cue demons.
Look at that shiny orange head!
He's not drowning himself, he's doing his Dustin Hoffman impression.
Variety in quality is the spice of life.
Cinema exploded this week. We're just picking up the pieces.
The Bourne Machinery? Are you guys even trying anymore?
Two... that is the number that is in the title of both of these films.
Spoilers: It's about boners.
Don't get me started on this one.
More than meets the eye. No, wait... wrong robots.
That's not The Lone Ranger. He's not even alone.
And now for a Die Hard knockoff your kids can see!
It's powerful and brilliant. You'll all hate it.
Is it a bird? Is it a pla- ...wait, we already did this joke.
Keep digging, we're about to hit cinema gold!
How are those Smith boys gonna get out of this mess?
Yeah, that look of horror says it all.
The backs of bald men and other exciting images await inside.
Have you ever Star Trekked Into Darkness? Thought not.
Is Robert De Niro crying or laughing there? Only one way to find out...
Joy of joys, they made another one.
This week, Current Releases takes a look back at basically everything.
They're evil... they're dead... and therefore no threat to you.
Why not recreate The Rock's head with a boiled egg this Easter weekend? It's fun for all the family.
Spring Break, bitches!
Like we'd believe any magic trick from someone with such terrible hair plugs.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
He's a slayer of giants, not a slayer who is giant.
The adventures of Horror Dad.
Ah, what a lovely day to die hard.
Warning: may cause dizziness, nausea and reading film reviews.
Can Walter Hill rekindle the flame of his old successes?
It happened. They finally made the worst movie.
He's back again...
Gangsters beware! There's a squad against you now.
It's the bad week to end all bad weeks. Must be awards season.