In the year 2012, the world is at a standstill. Economies are in ruins, the imperial guard controls most air traffic, and, worst of all, Harry Potter has to start his senior year at Hogwarts. He soon discovers that Hogwarts is nothing but a computer simulation run by transformers from another planet. Only Optimus "Aragorn" Prime can stop the evil from destroying the world. Together, Prime and Potter will traverse the ravaged wasteland of Los Angeles in the ancient pirate ship The Black Pearl. Along the way, they will encounter many dangerous creatures: The cybernetic Tyrannosaurus Rex, who has traveled into the future to protect the Staples Center from invaders; the duplicating Agent "Jack Sparrow" Smith, a pirate FBI agent; and also a mysterious monster from the deep that can only be viewed by handheld camera. Will they save the universe? Find out this summer.
Rated PG-13 for nonsensical comic mischief, mild tobacco use and pervasive explosions.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Something Awful reviews the latest films in a straightforward (for SA) manner.