I Hate You Page 209

: This is why photos should be illegal. Or the Inter-web. At least it will strengthen my petition for mandatory abortions in this Godforsaken hellhole town.

HAG

IN COLOR!

: Appleton City recycles its mutants. I prefer shoving glass bottle shards down their throats and using them as bloody pi�atas. One time I saw a fucking pirate ship following me down the road in my rear view mirror, but every time I turned around to look at it, it turned into a Dairy Queen and it kept fucking doing that until I fell asleep and woke up in the back of a police van wearing nothing but elbow pads. I hate pirate ships and I hate Dairy Queen and I hate you.

: The only woman this greasy marshmallow ever touched was his mom, and that was only after she gave birth to him and then opted for the cyanide-capsule pregnancy recovery program. I have a strong feeling that this shovel-eyed vegetable enjoys ham buffets.