I Hate You Page 23
- Quick! Alert sophomore Alan Bailey gives the heimlich maneuver to Janice Maureen. The results? She coughs up enough turkey to feed a family of seven for a couple months.
- Get a haircut, you ugly rock and roll hippy freak. I think this is the moron who is supposed to cut my lawn. One time I found him in the back of his van, smoking the "crazy weed drug". I had to confiscate it, of course.
- Haha, what kind of parade is this thing marching in? A parade lobbying for increased governmental cake funding?!?
- PURPLE-HEADED WARRIOR SEEKS SOMEBODY'S PURPLE-HEADED WARRIOR. INQUIRE WITHIN (ME).
- This is the only way Chester Reynolds can get anybody to polish his knob. Haha! Get it? Two penis jokes in a row! I'm the most clever man on the planet. If you disagree, I've got the perfect toilet I can ram your ugly mug into.
- Seeing the societal rejects who attend Renaissance Festivals this close to murdering each other really brightens up my day.