I Hate You Page 85

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: North Appleton University cuts corners by hiring fratboys to clean their bathrooms. With their fucking uglyass faces.

: The gay porn industry's newest movie star, Frankie Brooks, in a clip from South Appleton's most popular film, "Closet Encounters of the Sperm Kind."

: John Billingsly haunts the storeroom of the Radio Shack, ready to hand out male to male couplers.

: "ROWWWWR! UGLYCAT LEAPS TO ATTACK!!! ROWWWWWRRR!"

: Believe it or not, this was Alice Jenkins face BEFORE I slammed it against the grille of my Chrysler. Luckily for her, all the blood washed off her fruity makeup.

: All I wanted for Christmas was a football covered with human skin.

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