I Hate You Page 85

- North Appleton University cuts corners by hiring fratboys to clean their bathrooms. With their fucking uglyass faces.

- The gay porn industry's newest movie star, Frankie Brooks, in a clip from South Appleton's most popular film, "Closet Encounters of the Sperm Kind."

- John Billingsly haunts the storeroom of the Radio Shack, ready to hand out male to male couplers.

"ROWWWWR! UGLYCAT LEAPS TO ATTACK!!! ROWWWWWRRR!"

- Believe it or not, this was Alice Jenkins face BEFORE I slammed it against the grille of my Chrysler. Luckily for her, all the blood washed off her fruity makeup.

- All I wanted for Christmas was a football covered with human skin.