I Hate You Page 97
- Dave Gregory, the Potato King. At least I really hope those are potatoes, I'd hate to be staring at the remains of this simp's last digested meal.
- The West Appleton City Community Theater's remake of the classic horror movie, "The Blob". In a stunning twist of irony, it turns out that the jackass playing the blob is actually even more frightening out of costume. He's got a gut the size of a landfill, only full of more crap.
- Greetings Office Yeti, what time is it?
Time to get the hell out of Dodge, you ugly scar!!!
- Local flaming shitpile Franklin DeSatio offers every guy he meets two plates of chicken and one plate of mansteak. Most of them just choose the chicken, as I've punted that rat bastard's family jewels so far into his gut that he's been coughing up pee for the last six months.
- South Appleton's resident troll family, the Mackleburgs, demonstrate why eating their young isn't practical at this point, even if they did still have their original teeth.
- I don't know who the hell this joker is, so let's just call him "Another Corpse in the River."