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Wednesday, November 21, 2007 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

Today's update came to me in a dream. I don't think an update idea has ever come to me that way, and looking at how it turned out, hopefully none will ever come to me that way again. It just didn't work the way I wanted it to. But that's okay because I'm never going to write this update again. Also I probably failed to convey that it was supposed to be set in modern times.

ANYWAY, deal with it, lumpy.

Hog of the Forsaken with Tom "Moof" Davies

Moof: new hog species found
Livestock: you're kidding me
Livestock: you've got to be kidding me
Moof: nope
Livestock: oh my god
Livestock: where
Livestock: tell me
Moof: RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A Dutch scientist thinks he has discovered a new species of wild pig nearly twice the size of other pigs in Brazil's Amazon region.
Livestock: is it ornery
Moof: twice as ornery
Livestock: oh jesus
Livestock: i don't think the world is ready for such an ornery beast
Moof: it is not
Moof: we must find other worlds...
Livestock: i am tired of running tom
Moof: then you will die
Livestock: i am tired of watching our gardens devistated by ornery hogs uprooting our carrots
Livestock: i am tired of seeing our mud wallowed in
Moof: yes
Livestock: this is not right tom
Livestock: we have to make a stand
Livestock: are you with me
Moof: you will not live
Moof: no
Moof: i am going
Moof: to another world
Livestock: where will you go
Livestock: there are no other worlds tom
Moof: europa
Livestock: europa is not ours, stupid!!
Livestock: there is but this single sphere upon which the spark of life has freedom to ignite the fire of mankind
Moof: mars??
Moof: earth is not ours any more josh
Livestock: it will be if we fight for it
Moof: you can die on this forsaken rock
Livestock: if i am to die
Livestock: then all hogs shall die with me
Moof: you are such a fool
Moof: but...
Moof: but...
Moof: here
Moof: take this
Moof: *throws katana*
Livestock: then this is goodbye
Moof: goodbye josh
Livestock: goodbye tom
Moof: *blasts off to space*

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff