FINE DINING
If you hate BarkWire I apologize for doing so many of them, but for whatever idiotic reason, they've gotten more positive feedback than anything I've ever done on this site. Also sorry for not doing a Daily Dirt in awhile. I've been busy fighting off an invasion of ants on my South American plantation.
Living Good with Tom "Moof" Davies
Moof: josh just came up with a new quality of life index
Moof: the tdr
Moof: treat to disaster ratio
Moof: each day you tally up your treats
Moof: and your disasters
Moof: and find the ratio between the two
Moof: a higher ratio represents a higher quality of life
Livestock: tom that is intriguing
Livestock: what would you define as a treat
Moof: well
Moof: for me it would be a nice round of tf2
Moof: petting a good dog
Moof: eating a great sandwich
Moof: todays tdr is getting lower by the second
Livestock: tom - thinking about a beer
Livestock: definite treat
Moof: heck yeah
Moof: josh
Moof: that will bring up your tdr significantly
Moof: gonna have a couple of brews myself tomorrow
The Canyon Between Us with Tom "Moof" Davies
Moof: Grand Canyon Still Grand but Older
Livestock: tom i don't want it to grow old
Livestock: i want it to stay young forever
Moof: josh that is life
Moof: just know that you played your part
Moof: with the rocks
Livestock: tom i asked you to not mention that
Livestock: the grand canyon is a national treasure
Livestock: i took gold coins from that national treasure chest
Moof: yes
Livestock: tom if the national parks service found out... found out what i am doing
Livestock: that i am starting my own canyon
Moof: you arE???
Livestock: tom it has been a dream of mine
Livestock: to own a canyon
Livestock: but tom i can't tell you anymore until you sign an NDA
Moof: sure let me run it past my lawyer, make the applicable edits, and send it back
Livestock: tom you will find a home... at the bottom of my canyon
Moof: oh goodness
Putting Tom "Moof" Davies in his Place with Tom "Moof" Davies
Livestock: DON'T TREAD ON ME
Moof: i wont!!
Livestock: that's what my flag says tom and i'm hanging it ON YOUR BRITISH FACE
Moof: can you cut out some eye holes
Moof: plz
Livestock: yes of course
Moof: ty
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
