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Wednesday, April 2, 2008 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

If you hate BarkWire I apologize for doing so many of them, but for whatever idiotic reason, they've gotten more positive feedback than anything I've ever done on this site. Also sorry for not doing a Daily Dirt in awhile. I've been busy fighting off an invasion of ants on my South American plantation.

Living Good with Tom "Moof" Davies

Moof: josh just came up with a new quality of life index
Moof: the tdr
Moof: treat to disaster ratio
Moof: each day you tally up your treats
Moof: and your disasters
Moof: and find the ratio between the two
Moof: a higher ratio represents a higher quality of life
Livestock: tom that is intriguing
Livestock: what would you define as a treat
Moof: well
Moof: for me it would be a nice round of tf2
Moof: petting a good dog
Moof: eating a great sandwich
Moof: todays tdr is getting lower by the second
Livestock: tom - thinking about a beer
Livestock: definite treat
Moof: heck yeah
Moof: josh
Moof: that will bring up your tdr significantly
Moof: gonna have a couple of brews myself tomorrow

The Canyon Between Us with Tom "Moof" Davies

Moof: Grand Canyon Still Grand but Older
Livestock: tom i don't want it to grow old
Livestock: i want it to stay young forever
Moof: josh that is life
Moof: just know that you played your part
Moof: with the rocks
Livestock: tom i asked you to not mention that
Livestock: the grand canyon is a national treasure
Livestock: i took gold coins from that national treasure chest
Moof: yes
Livestock: tom if the national parks service found out... found out what i am doing
Livestock: that i am starting my own canyon
Moof: you arE???
Livestock: tom it has been a dream of mine
Livestock: to own a canyon
Livestock: but tom i can't tell you anymore until you sign an NDA
Moof: sure let me run it past my lawyer, make the applicable edits, and send it back
Livestock: tom you will find a home... at the bottom of my canyon
Moof: oh goodness

Putting Tom "Moof" Davies in his Place with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: DON'T TREAD ON ME
Moof: i wont!!
Livestock: that's what my flag says tom and i'm hanging it ON YOUR BRITISH FACE
Moof: can you cut out some eye holes
Moof: plz
Livestock: yes of course
Moof: ty

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff