Congratulations!
Knew you had it in you, buddy. Keep up the good work.
STUPID OLD TWITTER
If you would like to get exciting text messages from me at a rate of about 1-3 a week that have nothing to do with anything, feel free to follow me on Twitter!!!
The Power of Applause with Tom "Moof" Davies
Livestock: tom let's start clapping
Livestock: *clap clap clap*
Livestock: tom let's just keep this up for the next hour or so
Moof: josh i am clapping irl
Moof: no joke
Moof: it is loud
Moof: i have to stop to type
Moof: this is jolly
Livestock: keep clapping tom
Livestock: as long as we do this we can never be sad
Moof: josh i stopped
Livestock: well that's depressing
Moof: hmm
Moof: i suppose you are right
Moof: josh a clap doesn't linger like a horn or an owl's hoot
Moof: it is fast and loud and leaves just as quickly as it came
Moof: like hope josh
Livestock: so true
Livestock: tom we need to work more on our banter
Moof: josh we have lots of banter
Livestock: maybe, i guess i just don't read any of it
When the Gentleman Becomes the Scoundrel with Tom "Moof" Daives
Livestock: hey tom
Livestock: want to shake your hand buddy
Moof: hi
Moof: *spits in hand*
Moof: *offers hand*
Livestock: *spits in hand*
Livestock: *punches you in the face*
Moof: JOSH
Moof: YOU OFFERED YOUR HAND AS A GENTLEMAN
Moof: YET DELIVERED IT AS A SCOUNDREL
Livestock: well
Livestock: these things happen
Moof: josh
Moof: i wish they wouldn't
Livestock: we have no control over them tom
Livestock: none at all
Livestock: it is like telling the wind which way to go
Concerning the Delicate Subject of Fish and Crabs with Tom "Moof" Davies
Moof: an assertion:
Moof: crabs - the treats of the sea
Livestock: had crab only once in my life
Livestock: tasted like fish
Moof: correct
Livestock: but i prefer the finer Fish of the Sea
Livestock: for example
Livestock: the Salmon
Moof: the salmon is a Fish of the Rivers and Ladders
Livestock: ah but tom
Livestock: have you not heard of wild pacific salmon
Livestock: and it's sad cousin the farmed atlantic salmon
Moof: josh i sure have
Moof: i sure have
This Week on Something Awful...
-
The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
-
Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
-
LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
-
Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.