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Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

I like doing these sort of disjointed, assemble-them-however-you-like style updates. The last two classified ad stories went over pretty well, so hey, why not milk a gimmick until it's dead! Also I've wanted to write an update called "Journey into Mystery" for a long time, although it probably isn't the most appropriate title for this particular update.

I have no idea why I included a horse in this one, since I did that the first time. I guess I forgot.

This was a difficult update to write, and I hope it doesn't show too much. I've been distracted by coverage of...

I've been watching the hurricane coverage quite a bit lately, and stayed up ridiculously late watching Katrina's ominous approach. I think a part of me was hoping to see a major city destroyed. I didn't want people to die or homes wiped out, mind you, I just thought it would be neat to see a major city get pulverized. I don't hate New Orleans, but I've never been that fond of it either, mostly because every story I hear about it always ends with "and then she got raped."

The media coverage of the event was incredibly entertaining and even humorous. The major networks did an amazing job turning the event into a glorified circus, with endless doomsday predictions and fancy graphics showing just how New Orleans would be wiped out, Jerry Bruckheimer-style. I remember reading this quote on CNN.com and enjoying a morbid laugh, thinking it to be the most absurd thing ever.

Imagine you're the poor person who decides not to evacuate: Your house will disintegrate around you. The best you'll be able to do is hang on to a light pole, and while you're hanging on, the fire ants from all the mounds -- of which there is two per yard on average -- will clamber up that same pole. And eventually, the fire ants will win.

But after it struck I watched streams of news stations from New Orleans, without graphics, without news sets, just people sitting at a desk talking over footage of destruction. They weren't saying anything particularly profound, but the aerial footage depicting submerged grids of destroyed homes was very sobering. The surreal version of "Choplifter" that played out with people trapped on roofs was disconcerting, knowing that a lot more people probably weren't able to make it that high, due to age or disability. Then with the looting and insanity kicked in, oh boy. Took all the spectacle out of it, and showed it for what it was. The city more or less survived structurally, but all the homes around it were wiped out. Kind of the opposite of what my bloodlust was secretly hoping for. Plus a lot of smaller cities along the coast were all but obliterated. Casualty figures will probably go pretty high I figure.

So, in spite of having been a horrible asshole, I offer my condolences to those that lost their homes, family, pets, and anything else you might lose when a hurricane roars through. It's certainly been a disturbing experience to watch, and I can't imagine how painful it would be to survive or deal with firsthand. Best of luck with recovery and coping to all affected.

Livestock: I went back to the coast and watched lizards and I got wet because the tide came in and ate the beach and I had to walk through water to get around a big cliff.
Moof: oh no
Moof: was it deep water?
Livestock: nope but my shorts got kind of wet
Moof: oh no
Livestock: I kicked a log out into the water but it came back to land, so it was meant to be
Moof: sometimes logs are destined to be land logs
Moof: some are sea logs
Moof: only the sea can decide
Livestock: the sea did not want this log and told it to go home
Moof: that is why they call the sea "master of the logs"
Livestock: what else do they call the sea?
Moof: barne
Moof: y
Moof: barney
Livestock: do they really call the sea that?
Moof: no
Livestock: why did you lie to me?
Moof: i dont know, livestock
Moof: i dont know

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff