George Bush looks like cabbage
Today's Update
I would like to thank Agent Escalus for posting about N'kisi on the Something Awful Forums. His post there alerted me to the fact that psychic parrots were reading my mind, thus inspiring me to write this update, which I did for the express purpose of exorcising the concept of psychic parrots from my mind. It became the latest idiotic notion I spent entirely too much time fixating on.
There has been some suggestion that frontpage readers like shorter, easier digestible updates. So, I'm going to make an effort to be more concise and less windy, except in cases where whatever I'm writing needs to be fleshed out and longer (DynaMars stuff, occasional short stories, etc.), and cases where I just want to be windy and show off the five adjectives I know.
YouTube Wishlist
To my knowledge, not a single person answered the YouTube Wishlist, and for that I am depressed beyond all measure and will probably be taking my life in the very near future. If you want to save my life, please go degrade yourself in one or more of the numerous fashions requested.
Making Money with Tom "Moof" Davies
Livestock: moof we need to generate some g's and start a bidniss
Moof: okay
Moof: what do you want to do
Livestock: what are your skills
Moof: throwing hoops over pegs, befriending trout, hiding in trees
Livestock: moof my skills are building elaborate puzzles and reciting vivid details about the jack the ripper murders in front of children
Moof: hmm
Moof: perhaps we could go into business as clowns
Livestock: of course
Livestock: it is so obvious
Livestock: what will we call our duo
Livestock: our act
Moof: death from above
Livestock: what why
Moof: because we will rain fire from the sky
Livestock: where do we get the fire and how do we distribute it
Moof: wait oops
Moof: i was thinking of volcanoes
Moof: not clowns
Livestock: oh
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.