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Today's update is my last Comedy Goldmine article. I've come down with an incurable case of occupational overtime and Lowtax has been nice enough to let me go on indefinite sick leave to combat it. Mine is a far kinder - though far less spectacular - exit than that of my predecessor Russ, whom as you will recall died peacefully in his sleep crushed by his ceiling and walls.

I'd like to thank all of the forums goons who contributed some really great material. Some of their threads that I profiled - The Last Days of Capitalism comes to mind - were some of the funniest and most creative things I've ever read anywhere. However much I make fun of it for being filled with narcissistic and creepy manchildren I really do think these are the best forums on the web.

There was some really great content that I was never able to feature in the Goldmine, either because the format didn't work or there wasn't quite enough material to drive a whole article. So here are some links that you should click on if you want to giggle like a loon:

• Ask me questions and I'll answer them like Sarah Palin
• Valentine's Day: The Final Frontier
• Army 'Megafire' Money Pyre Hits $500k
• Put your keyboard on the floor and let your pets post
• How do YOU drink alone?
• Homeschooling in the Evangelical Community
• Your Favorite Puss
• Are you there Goatse? It's me, Margaret
• The Great Randbrick and Wayne Gretzky slapfight
• Gitmo Torture Apologists, I Baked You A Cake! [Hatebaking]
• Good Goon Music
• The Anime Roll Call Rap by forums poster lil raphandz

Actually, since the Roll Call Rap - where lil raphandz took a picture of a bunch of Internet tough guys at their anime club meeting and made a rap of it - is amazing I'm going to close with a music video of that. That's it! Bye!

- Chris "Petey" Peterson