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Hobotorium 3000: The Revenge

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

Sometimes I'm not quite sure what to write, so I just start tossing down nonsense and see where it takes me. This week it inadvertently took me to the land of "overused update topics." Everyone here has written about the future, and I guess now I'm no exception for the fourth or fifth time. I sure hope to come up with some good ideas soon!

I was pretty exhausted last week so I skipped doing a Daily Dirt, but I just wanted to thank David Thorpe for helping out in the pathetic task of making a bulleted list. I got back fairly late from a two day trip to a cursed land called Vancouver Island, and decided the update I had started working on prior to leaving was terrible and scrapped it. Anyway, that's that. I'm hoping to collaborate with David again very soon on a very special update of joy and wonder, that is if he isn't too busy defaming SA on low budget cable television.

To whom it may concern, I would like to propose the following to members of science, academia, and philosophy:

Lightning Dog

I think the idea has boundless potential and merit, and eagerly await numerous awards. My favorite part is the dog, but I like the lightning very much and feel it is a crucial component of the proposal.

Livestock: can you imagine having to eat your way out of a box factory?
Moof: oh god
Moof: what kind of boxes?
Livestock: cardboard
Moof: hey have you seen march of the penguins?
Livestock: why, is it coming through my town?
Moof: not sure it is a documentary about penguins
Livestock: oh, in that case no
Moof: they are playing it at the moving pictures establishment
Moof: it got me thinking
Moof: imagine
Moof: if wallets were little animals
Moof: and when you were at a restaurant
Moof: and you had to pay the bill
Moof: imagine if you took your wallet out and put it on the table
Moof: and it started saying "wallet wallet wallet wallet"
Moof: because that is what they say
Moof: and then perhaps it started jumping around the table and exploring
Moof: and people were looking over and you were embarrassed because they all had well behaved wallets
Moof: that didn't jump around much especially not as restaurants
Moof: can you imagine
Livestock: no, because I have a brain tumor
Moof: oh I am sorry
Livestock: that has rooted itself in my brain
Livestock: in the part that handles imagination (except for box factory related imaginations, which are controlled by the right side of the brain)
Moof: of course I learned that in psych101
Moof: how much longer do you have?
Livestock: yes, well, I have about 50-60 years if I live an honest life and tell no tall tales
Moof: oh jesus
Moof: I am so sorry
Livestock: thankfully I'm not the kind of person prone to tall tales
Moof: thank god

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff