Daily Dirt

Awful Articles

What the Hole

This update started as a satire of "Mel's Hole" a mythical infinitely deep hole popularized by the Art Bell show some time ago, which oddly enough I have never listened to in spite of insanity's inviting nature. I first learned of Mel's Hole when I went on a visit to Seattle's Museum of the Mysteries, which is basically a basement full of random things that have either been sat on by Bigfoot or are haunted. The guy running the place started talking about Mel's Hole, casually mentioning a website called "melshole.com" in the process. The name of that website caused quite a juvenile chuckle amongst my associates and instantly endeared the notion of some redneck's bottomless pit fantasy to me.

Anyway I have been thinking about Mel's Hole lately and decided to write a parody of it because I am a stupid individual. All and all I have no fucking idea why I wrote it and probably will regret it very shortly. The whole thing kind of got away from me.

A Real Hoot with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: moof do you
Livestock: ever dream of living in an owl rich nation
Moof: i once lived in an owl rich nation
Moof: i remember one christmas
Moof: the tree was filled with lights
Moof: and owls
Livestock: was it a hoot
Moof: the next year they were all gone
Livestock: :(
Livestock: what do you suppose became of the owls
Moof: they stopped believing in jessu :(
Livestock: who
Moof: owls :(
Livestock: lets settle this on the court
Moof: you are going down
Moof: all the way down town
Livestock: i'm going to put
Livestock: the nail in your coffin
Moof: i am going to put
Moof: the sugar in your tea
Livestock: thanks i like a lot
Moof: how many sugars would you like :)
Livestock: as many as you can spare i don't want to taste anything bitter
Moof: okay no problem

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff