I make this look goooood
Today's Update
I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.
My Weekend With Frolixo
This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!

I could really see myself falling for someone like him!
This Week on Something Awful...
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Love-Shy and My Tiny Dick
The Weekend Web
Hey! Take a break from watching basketball and read some of these posts about tiny dicks!
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Bad Luck In Bad Company 2
Video Game Article
Bad things will always happen to you, then things will get worse.
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The Newsom Nuisance
Garbage Day
Joanna Newsom bashers are more annoying than her crazy fans -- and her music itself.
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The Art of Vampire: The Masquerade (1990s)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack enter the ghoulish art world of Vampire: The Masquerade from the early 1990s.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.