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Man Eats Tank for Breakfast

Wednesday, July 13, 2005 Update by Josh "Livestock" Boruff

I've said this before and I'll say it again: I like outer space. The childish part of me that fell in love with space and the idea of space exploration never succumbed to the cancer of reality, and so I remain excited about it and all the possibilities that will never come true in my lifetime. I think we should spend tons of money on outer space, space exploration, and doing pointless things in outer space like launching satellites into comets at high rates of speed and trying to get out of this solar system as soon as possible.

Is it more practical than wiping out poverty or diseases? In the short term, no, but are we putting any effort into that? Some, but not that much. We wouldn't put any more effort into it if we were doing jack shit about space, so that's a hypothetical high road that goes nowhere. I'd rather we cut a big chunk of defense spending and put it towards noble causes, but we'll never do that. So let's go ahead and continue wasting money on space because at the very least, there's tons of shit to blow up in outer space.

President Bush, who I don't like and find scary recently gave NASA some grand goals, like going to Mars and of course returning to the moon. I have mixed feelings about that. Most space people say that sort of thing is impractical and very likely to end in failure. It probably is, but I also like the idea of having lofty goals instead of "well, this trip up we think we're gonna see what happens to bacteria when we set it on fire in zero gravity. Maybe next trip we'll see how tang tastes with extra sugar."

As far as this article goes, well, I felt like writing about space because I simply do not do that enough. I'm kind of actually interested in shuttle missions again, even though not much exciting happens on them these days. I know nothing about space shuttle technology, and I think it shows in my article. Along the way I felt it was lacking so I asked my faithful friend Tom "Moof" Davies for some advice and he gave me lots of suggestions I added in, so he gets ghostwriter credit!

Livestock: can you imagine what it would be like
Livestock: to live life through the eyes of a duck
Livestock: sent into the future
Livestock: to combat evil
Moof: yes
Livestock: yes me too

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff