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I have no idea what the hell today's update is about. Please don't bother reading it and wait for next week, when I post pictures of my new lower back tattoo (it's of Jesus).

I'm actually one of the few people that has no interest in Christmas at all, and I do jack shit for it every year. But once, on Christmas, my now dead grandma tried to get me to eat a giant candy cane not knowing it was a candle. She got indignant when I pointed out it had a wick and smelt like wax. That's my favorite Christmas memory, the time my grandma tried to force me to eat a big stick of wax.

Moof: what gifts should i take my family
Moof: for christmas
Moof: that england hasn't invented yet
Livestock: soap
Livestock: toothpaste
Moof: england has soap
Moof: england has toothpaste
Livestock: razors
Moof: hmm razors
Livestock: mutton chop trimmers
Moof: i cant take them on the plane
Livestock: top hat racks
Livestock: monocle stands
Moof: we dont need such trimmers we are proud :(
Livestock: foxes
Livestock: they like to hunt foxes
Livestock: crowns and gold
Livestock: rare species of man for the amusement of royalty
Moof: you know it well
Livestock: bell wax
Livestock: for waxing big ben
Moof: big ben is well taken care of thank you very much!!
Livestock: yes... yes it is ;-)
Moof: ;-)
Moof: what is your opinion on submarines do you think they have a place amongst the fishes
Livestock: i think submarines do have a place among the fish, as helicopters have a place amongst man.
Moof: as jumbo jets have a place amongst the soaring eagles and majestic dragons of lore
Livestock: when you think about it, moof, we are all submarines
Moof: nope i dont have a periscope
Livestock: i do

Tom is in England right now and I am unable to talk to him about large dogs so my life is kind of stressful at the moment.

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff