my tummy hurts

Today's Six Foot Party Sub


I'm not sure either!!

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I was just talking to David Thorpe the other day and he says he's been working tirelessly on his "best work to date" for the last six months and he should be ready to premiere it a week from Tuesday. Thorpe said he didn't want to brag, but that his update would be like everything Zack and Rich did put together and multiplied by ten. He kind of thinks it'll raise the site's bar by at least 10 inches. I welcome the challenge and look forward to David's magnum opus, as should all of you!

In other news Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz died of a massive heart attack Monday.

Thanks a lot, Fox


Thanks Fox for canceling Arrested Development, the only show on your entire fleet of networks I enjoy. I hope your entire company falls into a well and gets stuck there and dies.

A Capital Idea with Tom "Moof" Davies


Moof: ok im listening
Livestock: okay are you sitting down
Moof: yes
Livestock: are you sitting down
Moof: okay wait yes
Livestock: okay you know you can go to a store, right
Livestock: and in the store there is a freezer section
Livestock: okay
Livestock: okay and in that freezer section they have ice creams of different types
Moof: yes ok i am with you
Moof: yes
Livestock: well one kind of ice cream you can buy is neapolitan
Livestock: that's where it has three flavors together
Moof: ok
Livestock: you know strawberry, chocolate, vanilla
Livestock: well i have this idea for neapolitan corndogs
Moof: yes
Livestock: okay the hotdog inside is divided into three sections
Livestock: one is beef, one pork, one turkey
Livestock: so like as you eat this corndog
Livestock: you're getting different meats as you progress through it
Moof: what about chicken
Livestock: well that would be an option too
Livestock: so like you could divide the actual hot dog in 4 sections lengthwise
Livestock: and one section would be beef, the next pork, the next turkey, the next chicken
Moof: what about chocolate
Livestock: well there is no such thing as chocolate hot dogs moof
Moof: so the last one is chocolate it would be be like dessert
Livestock: well i guess
Livestock: i mean that might work
Livestock: but keep in mind this is a corndog
Livestock: a neapolitan corndog
Livestock: what do you think
Moof: that is amazing
Livestock: i thought so as well
Moof: but you cant really call it neapolitan unless it comes from naples are you from naples
Livestock: well the neapolitan ice cream isn't actually from naples
Livestock: i mean maybe it was originally
Livestock: okay but it's been co-opted by the world
Moof: where is it from now
Livestock: from your heart moof
Moof: jesus that's barbaric
Livestock: look inside
Moof: okay 1 second let me get a knife brb
Livestock: wait don't
Moof: ok i am looking but i dont see it
Moof: the walls are made of tree bark and hte lgihts are turning off
Livestock: sweet dreams gentle friend, the rainbow is at your feet

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff

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