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URGENT MESSAGE FROM MOUNT DOOM: THERE'S A HOBBIT IN YOUR BONNET!

I don't know how it happened but ever since turning 23 I've fallen to pieces and I'm rapidly dying in every conceivable way. Now I've apparently developed allergies to the elastic lining of my underwear and it's quite clear that I'm either going to die of underwear poisoning or have to go on some kind of strict underwear allergy medication. Either that or stop wearing underwear, but I refuse to become one of those people. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're 22 years old and about to beat that year and move on to the next one, don't. Twenty-three is the year your body falls to pieces and so you might as well go out healthy by driving your car into your worst enemy's house and then exploding.

Moof: when you run into a problem
Moof: do you ever refer to the problem as "a real humdinger"
Moof: because I don't but I think I should start
Moof: it is only right
Livestock: when I was a young man
Livestock: when the salt of the sea was still as fresh a scent to me as that of hard work
Livestock: and when my pennies seemed to stretch for infinity
Livestock: and when the horizon was as boundless as my imagination
Livestock: a humdinger killed my family
Livestock: and ever since then
Livestock: no problem great or small
Livestock: has come close to being a humdinger
Moof: I am so sorry
Moof: about the humdinger

- Josh "Livestock" Boruff