Well that was dumb.

Today's Update
As you can see today's update was kind of all over the place. I hope it was enjoyable, but if not then that is okay because you are the one that suffered, not me. I'm sure it was kind of a disaster though, if only because information we were writing about was constantly changing. It was good to dust off Moof and put him to work. I honestly did not tell him he was co-writing my update until the end, and I think that worked out well for the both of us.
Not Asking a Lot with Tom "Moof" Davies
Livestock: moof i would like to win 8 million dollars in the lottery i do not think that is asking too much
Moof: that is asking a lot (it is asking for eight million dollars)
Livestock: i know but if i were greedy i'd say 56 million or some odd number
Livestock: i am saying only 8
Livestock: and with that 8 i would live comfortably for the rest of my days and never bother a soul
Livestock: i would pay off my debts, and make the world brighter
Livestock: so 8 million is a fair amount
Moof: hehehe okay if i can have 2 million of it
Livestock: then i will ask for 10 million
Livestock: i do not think that is too much
Moof: no that is too much
Moof: you can have 6 million
Moof: i will have 2 million
Livestock: moof i do not like this plan and what do you need 2 million for anyway
Moof: i just want a little house
Moof: and a dog
Moof: that is all i want
Livestock: i do too but i want my house to be a penthouse with a view and i want my dog to be a yacht
Livestock: i don't really like sailing but i want to run it aground on a populated beach
Moof: :O
Livestock: then i will climb out and said "the ocean is so boring!"
Livestock: then i will set the yacht ablaze
Livestock: and walk away satisfied
Livestock: a victor over the sea
Moof: how will you get home
Livestock: i will have a helicopter waiting
Livestock: people will say "that man is living comfortably and never bothering a soul"
Moof: i dont want a helicopter and a boat
Moof: just a little house and a nice dog
Livestock: okay moof i will buy you a little house and a dog when i have 8 million, but i will want to maintain ownership of both
Moof: will you meddle in their affairs or let us be
Livestock: you will sign a contract and agree to follow all edicts great and small
Moof: that sounds like meddling to me
Livestock: should you not once, the dog disappears
Livestock: should you not again
Livestock: the house disappears
Moof: where does the dog go :(
Livestock: should you not a third, then you will disappear
Livestock: and find yourself in the house with the dog
Livestock: on a deserted island
Moof: oh okay :)
Livestock: i will have disappeared all three of you
Moof: that is not so bad
Livestock: and you will never hear from me again
Livestock: but moof
Livestock: the contract will be void
Livestock: so you will live without purpose
Moof: nope i will be happy
Livestock: moof the island will be alcatraz
Moof: alcatraz is in a good location
Moof: close to the city but far enough away to be quiet
Livestock: moof i will hire a man to fly a helicopter over your house for 4 hours each day
Moof: :C
Moof: livestock we do not have a deal
Moof: i will make my own way in this world
This Week on Something Awful...
-
The Kansas City Worldskippers: Pregnancy
The Flash Tub
Those crime-finding ball-hogging duo duos are back with more hair-grinding adventure!
-
Love-Shy and My Tiny Dick
The Weekend Web
Hey! Take a break from watching basketball and read some of these posts about tiny dicks!
-
Bad Luck In Bad Company 2
Video Game Article
Bad things will always happen to you, then things will get worse.
-
The Newsom Nuisance
Garbage Day
Joanna Newsom bashers are more annoying than her crazy fans -- and her music itself.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.