Who's that driving? It Patrick Swayze!
Today's YouTube Update Thing
I would like to thank the SA staff for doing most of the work for me this week. I realize this update was just a giant bulleted list, but my secret hopes and dreams are that a few people out there will try to recreate some of these wishes in video form, which would be fantastic. For one thing, it would make me feel incredibly powerful convincing the pawns out there to do my bidding. More importantly, though, it would just be neat. I realize 90% of these wishes are impossible, but that's just all the more reason to prove us wrong (or die trying). If any do get made and turn out good, they'll definitely get some plugs somewhere on this site. Probably here, in the unread corridors of the Daily Dirt, but who knows.
The Great Evolution Debate with Tom "Moof" Davies
Moof: i do not understand how any smart individual can believe in evolution
Moof: it infuriates me
Moof: trying to tell me that a turtle evolved from a rock!!
Moof: what am i stupid??
Livestock: and yet, 9 times out of 10, turtles are mistaken for rocks
Livestock: are we to believe that it is just chance that turtles and rocks look alike??/
Moof: that is how the theory of evolution started
Moof: livestock god
Moof: listen
Moof: just because a dog looks like a hog
Livestock: have you forgotten about darwin's finches
Moof: doesnt mean that a dog is a hog!
Livestock: each one has a different beak for hitting different musical notes
Livestock: they had to evolve so that they could do greater musical numbers
Moof: actually darwin shaped the beaks himself with a chisel
Livestock: do you have proof of this
Livestock: moof
Moof: do you have proof of evolution???
Livestock: do you know what fossil records are
Moof: pseudoscience
Livestock: they show that turtles came from rocks
Moof: the only true science is the science of our lord jesus
Livestock: how else do skeletons get inside rocks unless rocks were at one time alive???
Moof: god put skeletons in rocks to test our faith
Moof: i don't mind though it is just more room in heaven for me!
Livestock: moof i will throw rocks at your god
Livestock: and you as well
Moof: would you teach your children that horses evolved form oats??
Moof: what a ridiculous concept
Livestock: i don't think you understand evolution, you dumb creationist
Livestock: horses did not evolve from oats they evolved from ponies
Livestock: simple organisms evolve into more complex ones
Livestock: ponies are simpler than horses
Moof: if horses evolved form ponies then what did ponies evolve from
Livestock: at one point ponies evolved from dogs
Livestock: dogs evolved from cats
Livestock: cats from rats
Livestock: rats from mice
Moof: haha then what!
Livestock: mice from hairy spiders
Livestock: etc.
Moof: it all had to start somewhere!!
Livestock: yes moof the big bang
Moof: your theory is a terrible one
Moof: livestock you are so dumb
Moof: just because there is a scientific explanation with mountains of proof supporting it does not mean it is right
Moof: because it is complicated
Moof: god would make things simple not complicated
Moof: use occam's razor
Livestock: moof god made rainbows to tell people there would be no more floods
Livestock: next he'll destroy the earth with fire :)
Moof: actually he made them to tell people where gold is buried
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Wishmaster's Valentines
The Flash Tub
The Wishmaster grants some Valentines Day wishes with SURPRISE TWISTS.
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Safe House; The Vow; Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace; Shame; A Dangerous Method
Current Releases
No-one is safe, except for you. Safe from bad movies that is, thanks to our life-saving reviews.
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How To Make Someone Cry
Features / Articles
Maybe if I wore a cape and ran around someone's living room they'd start weeping violently.
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Historical Figure Hats / British Judge Wigs!
Photoshop Phriday
Hats? On people?! Wigs? On judges?! Whatever, weirdos.
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Aliens Unlimited: Galaxy Guide (1997)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack encounter unknown creatures in Palladium's guide to Aliens Unlimited.
