Firework Safety Coloring Book

GOD BASS AMERICA

Picture yourself having a big, beautiful house, three well-behaved kids, an attractive spouse, and two cars in your garage. That's the American dream. Lovely, isn't it? Now picture it all on fire because somebody (a.k.a. you) didn't pay attention when it came time to learn about firework safety. Way to go, dingus.

Today is the birthday of our glorious nation, and since guys around here are going to be playing with explosives pretty much all day long, I think it's time to review some firework safety basics, or at least the consequences of not knowing said basics. It's a well-known fact that the human brain responds best to advice when it's presented in a loosely-knit story by a cheesy rapping mascot, so that's what I've done here. It's also a printable coloring book, which means you can click each image to get a slightly bigger version if you so desire. They might come in handy for you during that boring period in-between the cheap liquor and the fireworks, or if you're babysitting a bunch of kids, or both. Enjoy, and I hope you learn something!

- Johnny "Doc Evil" Titanium

This Week on Something Awful...


  • Bad Luck In Bad Company 2
    Video Game Article

    Bad things will always happen to you, then things will get worse.

  • Variety Pack #14!
    Photoshop Phriday

    The SA forum goons bring you the rest of the best of the rest.

  • The Newsom Nuisance
    Garbage Day

    Joanna Newsom bashers are more annoying than her crazy fans -- and her music itself.

LIVE Forums Stats

Users online:5,341
Threads total:2,906,008
Posts total:100,069,775
The Awful Forums Photoshop Phriday Comedy Goldmine Flash Tub Weekend Web Pranks Movies Games Music Navigation