The Weekend Web

Foundation for Awakening and Enlightenment, Health Castle, and Modding Madness

Saturday, March 13, 2004 Update by Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

Twenty years ago God was sitting around on his lazy ass thinking, "You know what, there aren't enough hispanic writers of weekly internet collumns that cause people to cringe and despise humanity" and made me, a guy whose biggest claim to fame in two decades is banning a whole lot of people on an internet forum. Like many people my life has been full of ups and downs. Like the time my friends and I were going to break into an old abandoned factory but I pussied out at the last minute and they went without me. Or the time there was this girl I liked and I was going to ask her out but at the last minute I uttered something about the weather and then ran home like a sissy. Then there's the time I could have gone on a trip to Disney World, but was too scared to leave home. Yes I have had so many great experiences but my greatest joy in life is bringing you good folks this little collumn and banning confused people on the Something Awful Forums. This may sound pathetic to most people but I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Foundation for Awakening & Enlightenment Inc.

The Foundation for Awakening & Enlightenment Inc. (FAE for short) is proof that any group of nutjobs can become a bona fide non-profit organization, or so they say. Here is a supposedly legally recognized organization whose front page reads, "You are entering a site dedicated to the spiritual belief of reincarnated non-human souls." Which is fine really when you realize that many religions and cultures believe in reincarnation. Unfortunately this isn't no Buddhism or Hinduism. This shit boarders on furry. They even have a press release:

FAEborn (also commonly used as faeborn) : A transmigratory reincarnate of intelligent, mystical/magical, non-human nature who is actively attempting to live a productive life, in a healthy manner, while successfully integrating aspects of their past incarnations.

Yeah that's healthy.

The Grand Council of Orcs deny the Elven holocaust ever happened.