This is my first Daily Dirt update thing. Let me start off by saying that I'm not a big fan of this stupid feature because in general I hate blogs/LiveJournals. Yeah, I occasionally read the blogs of a small handful of friend's and stuff like that, but I myself have very little interest in posting inane shit about my personal life online.
Whenever I stumble across some random person's LiveJournal, it always seems to read something like this:
2day i met a girl she is great i love her and i will love her forever she's the best i love you Ella! [Note: 3 weeks later this sentence is edited out after the relationship goes horribly wrong] Also today I bought groceriecs and some woman said she had cancer! She turned around to me and said "how bout the prices of lamb chops when I saw them i was just about to die!" and i said "yeah well you'll die sooner than me there radiation FREAK!" ahaha it was so funny and she cried. Anyway today i have to pay some bills and say hello to Billiam and eat this great pie I baked and also what is the deal with war? WHY CANT THERE BE PIECE. Anyways i am gonna take a shower now ;) ta ta MOOD: ANTIGIONIOUSIOES
So don't expect me to start writing about how much I'm in love with this bearded ex-prostitute or whatever the hell Josh "Livestock" Boruff writes about in his Daily Dirts, I don't know, I don't read that crap. But do expect me to put very little effort into writing these, just like a real blog!
Anywho, I guess I should mention a few things: the first thing is now I'm doing alternating Sunday front page updates for Something Awful. About every two years Lowtax gets me to write for SA for a couple months, then I lose interest or get busy with some other project and quit. It's been about two years, so I'm back. I committed to doing this mostly so I could write about the NFL during football season. I really doubt most people visit this site to read about sports, but whatever, I like football.
Also, I very fully realize that it's pretty whiny of me to write an entire update about being "forced" to attend E3 as part of my job, since E3 is an event that some people dream of going to for some reason. I know, boo-hoo-hoo, poor me. But I really, truly, and honestly dislike E3 and I needed something to write about quick. So there.
In this daily dirt, Lowtax claimed that I stole a $20 chair from eFront. He didn't post the true story because it's not as funny:
(quoting my own forum post since I'm too lazy to re-write it) I stole the chair because I needed it to help wheel out the computer and the monitor I stole from them [eFront] since they weren't going to give me my final paycheck or any severance. I slapped the computer and the monitor on the chair, wheeled it out, and sold the computer/monitor. I threw the chair out.
Not the wisest thing I've ever done, but it was my work machine and I knew the company was probably just going to throw it out once they went under anyhow. And that company was a bunch of scumbags anyway.
I guess I might as well throw in one e/nish thing in here: this week I discovered there's a WikiPedia entry about me. GEE, THANKS INTERNET!!
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!